Chivalry As We Know It Is Dead…If It Weren’t; This Is How It Would Look
I’ll be the first to say I believe chivalry is dead. The days where it was a common practice for men to perform random acts of kindness in the interest of women are long gone and won’t be returning. Granted, we live in an era where women are much more independent and self-serving, but that’s not to say women don’t deserve to be treated as…well, women. Some men will argue the modern woman isn’t deserving of such treatment. Naturally, women will argue to the contrary and how men, as a whole, should do better. I generally side with those men, but only to a certain extent…
When I’m on a date, or out with a female friend or relative, I tend to exhibit a few “courteous” behaviors. There are certain things I’ll do for any woman accompanying me somewhere. I don’t do these things because my intentions are to impress. Rather, I was raised to honor & respect women and I have my mother to thank for that. Recently, I’ve had discussions with different people and made some observations of my own; it appears a lot of men aren’t very chivalrous anymore. So I’ve taken the liberty of listing several practices of mine in hopes of helping those men who are lacking in this area.
Open all building doors
Whether it’s a restaurant, the mall, an apartment, or anything of the sort, be sure to hold the door open and allow her to walk through first. This is one of the most fundamental gestures all women notice.
Order second, eat second
When you’re out to eat and/or having drinks, allow her to place her order first. Even if the server looks to you to order first, defer to your date. If your food arrives first, hold off on eating until her food arrives. I can’t say all women hold this with high regard, but I have come across plenty who do. Besides, it’s always safe to follow the “ladies first” rule of thumb.
Walk on the outside of the sidewalk
It may seem insignificant at first, but women definitely notice when men conscientiously walk on the side nearest the street. Also, whenever there are people walking in your direction and there isn’t enough room to walk side-by-side, make sure you step behind her. It gives the impression you’re concerned with keeping her in your sight if something were to happen.
Hold the umbrella when it’s raining
If you’re out on a date, you can easily earn points for doing this without putting forth much effort. It’s a very simple, yet kind notion that has potential to be very effective. With you holding the umbrella, it allows her to clutch your arm if she feels inclined. Now you’ve created an unexpected, intimate moment and essentially you two are brought closer together.
Offer to carry anything heavy
Whenever she has groceries, luggage, or miscellaneous boxes that need to be transported, always insist on carrying them for her. If the load is too much to handle at once, at least make an effort to carry the bulk of it.
Ensure her safety
After an outing, walk with her to her car or selected mode of transportation. Be sure to ask her to contact you to let you know she made it back safely. If you’re driving her home, pull off only after you watch her walk into her place. This lets her know you care about her well-being.
Pay for the first date (Honorable Mention)
While this isn’t necessarily an act of chivalry, it deserves some notoriety. Guys: when you’re out on a date, please don’t fall for the trap. Women will sometimes offer to foot their portion of the bill on that first date. Some are more creative and will pretend to reach in their purse when the bill arrives. Let it be known; a woman will NEVER want nor expect to actually come out of pocket on a first date. This is one of many tests upon which you are critiqued.
Generally speaking, it boils down to being polite and providing her with a sense of security. It means a lot to a woman to feel like her man is keeping her safe. Although they may go unmentioned, women definitely notice “the little things” we do for them. My list, however, is a far from exhaustive. There are plenty of other things you can do to make her feel special. But trust me; you’ll never go wrong by putting some or all of these into practice. We all know someone who isn’t up on game; this would be a good place for them to start.