They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I’m not sure if there’s a sure fire way to capture a woman’s heart all the same, but one of the best ways to grab, and more importantly keep her attention is by asking questions and getting to know her for more than what’s on the surface. While this is no secret, some men make the mistake of asking the “personal” questions too soon, creating those unnecessary awkward moments. The last thing you want to do is make the woman you’re interested in feel uncomfortable around you. Based on my observations, I was able to devise a list comprised of seven questions men should typically avoid asking until after some level of a relationship has been established. Let’s take a look:
Why are you single?
Most of you will immediately ask “what’s wrong with asking this?” I asked the same thing when someone suggested avoiding it. Asking a woman why she’s single can potentially remind her of a past relationship that may have left her scarred. It’s better to focus on what she’s looking for in her future rather than what she may have suffered in her past. At best, it’s sort of a backhanded compliment; a lame way of suggesting she’s too attractive to be single.
What size shoe do you wear?
You’re probably thinking the same thing I thought when someone told me never ask this. Apparently, asking a woman’s shoe size is just as bad as asking a woman how much she weighs. Maybe it was because the women I asked happened to have relatively large feet (> 13); I really don’t know but figured I’d include it anyway.
How many sexual partners have you had?
This is probably the worst one. Asking this question at the wrong time will make her think you’re only concerned with having sex. Even if the two of you go home together after the first date, it’s clear neither of you are looking for anything serious. So whether she’s been with three or 300 men should be of no consequence to you. Besides, women rarely divulge how many men they’ve actually been with intimately.
When was the last time you had sex?
Just like the previous one, this may lead her to believe you’re only motivated by an opportunity to “hit it”, which isn’t exactly the best way to gain a woman’s interest. If sex is all you’re after, then fine; let it be known. But again, what difference does it make if you two will just part ways the next morning?
How much do you make?
Why do you need to know what her salary is? Are you trying to determine whether she makes more than you? If you aren’t preparing to be with her long term, this information is irrelevant. And so what if she does make more than you? A woman who has proven she will work hard for what she desires should be more attractive than she is feared. Only weak-minded men are intimidated by ambitious women.
Is that your real hair?
You would think this was obvious, but some men really think it’s ok to ask a woman whether the hair she has was grown or sewn. This question can make you appear to be superficial; as if you’re overly concerned with her physical appearance. Consider this: if you were balding and opted to use a toupee of some sort, would you like your hairpiece to be the topic of discussion? I think not.
Are you on your period?
The first thing she’s going to think when you ask this will be if you’re implying she’s being a…you know what. She may also think you’re trying to determine if sleeping together is a possibility. In a relationship, it’s good to know when her cycle occurs. That way you can prepare to give her a little extra comforting. But during date #2, it’s just frowned upon.
In most cases, women like knowing why men want to know certain things. If it isn’t obvious why we’re asking something, it may appear we have ulterior motives. Since perception is everything, certain questions are better left unasked. I won’t say every woman would get offended if she were asked any one or all of these questions. But, I have have seen each one taken the wrong way. Personally, I prefer to play it safe when it comes to meeting and dating women. Sometimes, men ask questions not considering whether a woman may or may not take offense to it. We tend to think because we wouldn’t mind being asked certain things, they won’t either. What we ought to remember is women should be approached more delicately. There would be fewer stigmas attached to us if we all understood that notion.